"Why you dey cry, the thing no sweet you, abi you be virgin? Any way na who pay money pass na him the matter go favour." This was what a police man in Lagos had to say to a victim and this happens every day, you might not know because your neighbor is not affected just yet.
Chidinma was pregnant. pregnant for her madam's oga, pregnant for a minister in church. Pregnant for a father of four children.
Twas Ejiro"s birthday so while we were dinning with cakes and drinks we decided to talk about the topic I shared on radio with Laura on Wfm 91.7- sexual violence among teenagers.
Sexual Violence is an act verbally or physically against someone without the permission or consent. Both male and female are affected but research has proved that the number of female affected is on the increase.
Chidinma, a very petite low waist lady who could pass for a 14 year old child, was employed as maid in the house and her madam's oga who is a supposed minister in a church grabs her from behind while she was doing the dishes. This act occurred every other afternoon.
She will scream and even reported to madam once saying she is not free to stay in the house alone with oga. but madam didnt seem to phantom what this village girl was talking about.
On a Fateful Friday afternoon, as a minister who only works for the church was at home alone with the maid. Oga came into the kitchen and echoed, Chi Girl, conji dey wound me o. As usual, he grabs her again, fondled her breast, carried her into the room and finally rapes her.
Its been confirmed, Oga am pregnant. Oga replies, how come, so once, I touch you, Once, you are pregnant.
Madam is asking, who is responsible? who will believe her, will she believe that her husband raped the maid. Chidinma is most definitely loosing her job.
Family members of the lady who reported to the police got the shocker of their lives. The minister bribed the police hugely "na person wey pay money pass go win the case".
This story simply explains why we need to protect ourselves or any one around us first. Once the deed is done, the effect is lasting. Not even the police will believe you.
Any sexual act that is forceful is a violence. From winking to virginity test to child marriage. if he says you will loose your job if you do not lay with him, it is a verbal act of sexual violence.
Would madam have really left her job to start monitoring a whole husband and his conji issues or better still, not having a maid at all would have saved her this embarrassment.
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#ItsNotOk, say no to RAPE and any form of sexual violence. It destroys the victim, the perpetrator and their respective families.
ReplyDeleteThis is most unfortunate. The act of the boss is not right. The police has not played their role in the way they should. Whether the boss is responsible for d pregnancy or not,For no reason should a boss and head of d home subject his maid to sexual harassment! Bad! Pathetic!!
ReplyDeleteAs long as there are no consequences for our actions we ll continue to act in such irresponsible ways.its very sad to be a victim and be condemned at the same time also , we really have to speak out and act until one day people will be accountable for all thier actions!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's sad when we get insensitive to the cries of others. This poor girl did cry out to her "madam" but she wasn't sensitive enough to figure out what she meant until the matter got out of hand. Many young girls have been abused this way by their own father's and step fathers and even uncles and close relatives and no one took note of their complaints until it got out of hand. RAPE is a serious issue and shouldn't be taken lightly. Pay attention to your kids and also to those in your custody.
ReplyDeleteThanks for making us aware of DSVRT. Everyone should know that there is a body to handle such cases. Enough is enough
ReplyDeleteSo sad a story, I fink the case should be reported to the appropriate body and not the police, and also the perpetrator should be dealt with so that others can learn from it.
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