Name -Calling, Shoving, Pushing, Yelling, Are they all part of Domestic Violence???

1 in 5 teenage girl have being abused or violated. 

Young girls are more likely to be experience violence than men.

40% of young girls are already subjected to teenage abuse.

Domestic violence is any incident that threatens behavior between adult or teenagers who are or have been intimate with a partner, family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.

A family member could be a mother, father, son, daughter, brother ,sister, and grandparents, in-laws, step-family who are directly or indirectly related.

Shockingly 50% of girls involved in this are the educated and  well exposed female. Most people endure this believing that they cant find a better person, or a wealthier person who can take care of their needs.

Domestic abuse is rarely a one of situation and should be seen as a pattern of abusive and controlling behavior through which the abuser seeks power over their victim. It is battering

A typical abuse involves a pattern of abusive and controlling behavior which tends to get worse over time. 

Abuse can take place over and over again in public place or at home. and continue even after couples have separated or existing relationship is nullified.

Regardless of age, gender, race, sexuality, wealth and geography domestic violence can occur.

Facts about the abusers

     Abusers are usually in control of themselves despite what the common believe is: domestic abuse is not as a result of the abusers loss of control over his behavior. It is a deliberate act or choice made by the abuser.

     He is not violent with other people. E.g colleague or friends or classmate.

     He is able to stop and compose himself at the sight of a third person or a police.

     If it’s a physical violence he chooses where to abuse or cause physical injuries.

     He damages the victims possession out of jealousy.

CAUSES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:

Personality Traits  Mental Illness.

SOCIAL LEARNING: Violence is transmitted from generation to generation. 

while growing up and a child observes an aggressive behavior he or she will learn from it and if there are no consequences the victims accept its with total submission.

SOCIAL STRESS…Violence is not always caused by stress but it could be a way people respond to stress. Partners in poverty make experience this due to conflict about finances.

TO SHOW POWER AND CONTROL: Abusers always like to be in charge and show supremacy.

Study has proved that this is as a result of low self esteem and feeling of in adequacy. When he constantly calls or text you just to know where you are or what you are doing. 

HE IS ACTUALLY NOT SHOWING YOU LOVE BUT HE IS FEELING VERY INADEQUATE AND THAT IS A VERY CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIP.

FORMS OF DV INCLUDES:

EMOTIONAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL VIOLENCE:

• Verbal or non verbal
• Aims at chipping away the confidence and independence of a victim.
• Examples including yelling, name calling, bullying, blaming, shaming isolating, intimidating,
• Isolation example is the Japanese boy left alone for punishment.

PHYSICAL ABUSE:

Physical actions or physical aggression:

Slapping, kicking, knocking on the head, throwing objects hitting, biting, kicking, pushing shoving, and domineering, controlling, restraining strangling which is the most common method of intimate partner hoimicide.

Example of pushing is the young couple who asking his wife questions and he pushed her just by the stair case while she wasn’t answering.Just a slight push is a push.

Common couple or common partner violence:.

This occurs in a single argument where one of the partner lashes out on the other.

1.  Intimate terrorism:

Occurs mostly in men with psychopathic or violence tendencies.  He afflict pain or injuries on his partner as a result of emotionally dependent on the relationship.

2.  Economic/ Financial Abuse:

•      Limiting a victims ability to access help  
•     Tactics may include wanting to have control over finances,  withholding money or         credit card
•     Making someone unreasonably account for money spent or replacing petrol used in     the car.
•     Preventing someone from working
•     Forcing to work against their will.

3.  HONOUR BASED VIOLENCE:

This Violence is set at discretion of those who do not thinks that a member of the family has brought shame to them by not abiding by the rules of the family.

• ·        Infringement of a girl having a boyfriend.
• ·        Pregnancy outside marriage
• ·        Rejecting a force marriage- Marriage under duress
• ·        Teen Dating Abuse

4.  STALKING:

Perpetrated by strangers or acquaintance.  This should be taking seriously because it can lead to murder.

Wikipedia describes stalking as an unwanted obsessive compulsive attention by an individual or a group towards another person. Monitoring or following of a victim.

5.  Dating Violence:

Females’ between 16 and 24 are likely to be abused.

Abusive relationship have good and bad times. Part of what makes dating violence confusing because there is a mix of love   and abuse that makes the victim not want to let go.

Unhealthy relationship can start early and last for a life time. Often people think that teasing and calling names are part of a relationship.

Effect of Domestic Violence :

• ·        Suffer emotional trauma, there is always fear, depression, anti- social behavior low self esteem

• ·        Internal bleeding, injuries, irritable bowel syndrome- a disease condition tat makes the stomach irritable at almost every meal and presents with its own unique sign and symptoms

• ·        Long term illness e.g Mental illness

• ·        In Pregnancy,   Miscarriage can happen, low birth weight due to poor nutrition, preterm labour, heamorrhage, rupture of the uterus.

 Management of DV:

Everyone deserves to be loved, respected at all times and in all seasons.

      ASK questions like: does he have a history of a bad relationship.

 Always blaming his or her problems on other people

 Blame you for his misdemeanor.

 Tries controlling by been bossy, not taking your opinion seriously

 Pressures you to have unprotected intercourse.

 Constantly calling or texting.

 After answering all this….

•     Seek medical help proper checkup and if you are pregnant that is essential to save you and the fetus
•      Generally counselling of the affected person.
•     Law enforcement including making an arrest or separating both parties away for few hours or days
•      Counselling the offender

RECOMMENDATIONS:

    Violence should be taught everywhere. School, churches, mosques so victims won’t be afraid to tell.

     Teen should be encourage to detest and not imitate what they see at home or watch on the tv

     Comprehensive and extensive premarital counselling

     Punishment given to offenders should be published to serve as deterrence to others

ENDING NOTE

Girls and women are crucial to the growth and development of a nation and the world at large so let’s stop violence against women considering that some women are mothers, teachers  and bread winners.

Everyone deserves to be loved and feel loved. Be happy and active

photocredit: google